


i just want (to hold you)

by surround



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Confessional, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mutual Pining, theyre so stupid and it makes my heart happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surround/pseuds/surround
Summary: alternatively: 5 times hinata wanted a hug (+1 time he got one)orkagehina college AU where their teammates are so sick of hearing them mope about each other
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 19
Kudos: 324





	i just want (to hold you)

Someone stood at the bottom of the steps in front of the gym. Hinata stood half-way down.

“You.”

Kageyama turned, only slightly taken aback by the fire in Hinata’s eyes.

"If you're the king that rules the court,” he hissed, "I'll have to defeat you, and I'll be the last one standing!” 

Pause.

And for a moment, Hinata isn't sure if Kageyama is going to respond.

"The last ones standing are the victors,” he replied eventually, nonchalantly. "Only the strongest. If you want to be the last one standing, become strong.”

The taller boy raised his eyes, meeting Hinata’s gaze properly for the first time, before turning away. 

The fire in Hinata spread to the pit of his stomach; he knew he’d meet Kageyama again some day, and on that day he would fight. _Not today, though._ He felt tears falling. Today, all he really wanted was a hug. 

Hinata thought about volleyball a lot that night. About Kageyama. And about how to get stronger, so he could one day beat the King.

___

Hinata stood, alone, in the middle of the school yard.

They were friends now. Of course, they still fought, but nothing they said ever carried any real weight. 

But the fight they had after the match with Seijoh was different. It hung heavy in the air and it seemed to take up all the space in Hinata’s lungs. He missed Kageyama, as much as he hated to admit it. It had only been a couple of days of tensely cold-shouldering each other but it just felt so _ wrong_. Hinata had never really had a friend like Kageyama. Kageyama was more than just a friend. He was a partner. A presence. He was there when Hinata sprinted to and from the gym, he was there by his side when they were drinking water during timeouts, he was there to grab Hinata’s hair and yell at him when he screwed up, and sometimes, he was even there in the quiet moments, too. 

Or, at least, he should have been. 

“Hinata.”

Startled out of his sulky daydream, Hinata looked up to see Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. 

“Hi Tsukishima. Yamaguchi.”

“When are you and the King going to make up?” Tsukishima asked bluntly.

Hinata took a step back. “What? We aren’t- It’s not-“

“Yes you are." Tsukki readjusted his glasses, a gesture that somehow managed to look threatening when he did it. "You’re fighting and it’s pissing me off. King is so much worse when he’s not around you 24/7.”

Hinata cocked his head to the side. “Wait. What do you-“

Tsukishima brushed passed him, signalling the end of the conversation. Hinata stared after him.

“He’s right, you know,” Yamaguchi smiled sympathetically. “Kageyama isn’t as… Lively. When you’re not on speaking terms.”

“Lively?”

“Yeah, you know,” Yamaguchi said as he turned to follow Tsukki. “Quick. Sharp. Resilient. That kinda stuff.”

As Yamaguchi ran to catch up with his friend, Hinata was left feeling a little weird.

Hollow, almost. He needed a hug. 

That afternoon, he ran head-first into Kageyama as they both headed for the gym.

“Kageyama-“ Hinata apologised.

“Hinata-“ Kageyama mumbled at the same time.

An awkward pause followed.

“I’msorry!” Hinata blurted. 

Kageyama’s mouth opened slightly, then closed again as Hinata kept going. 

“Not just for running into you just now, I am sorry for that, but I’m also sorry for all the other stuff, and I don’t wanna fight anymore, and-"

Kageyama looked at the ground. “I’m sorry, too.”

And then when Kageyama grabbed his head during practice as a scolding for missing a spike, Hinata felt his eyes prickle with relief, and the hollow feeling in his chest began to dissipate.

___

At the end of the match with Shiratorizawa, Hinata felt his head go blank. He barely noticed that he was crying. That everyone was crying. That they won.

Hinata felt arms around him, he felt himself collapsing to the floor in a bundle with the rest of his teammates. But nothing really clicked until he locked eyes with Kageyama. And Kageyama Tobio was _ smiling_. A real, genuine, tear-filled smile that could rival Hinata’s own, and it made something in Hinata burn.

Oh. Right.

They _ won_.

“Bakayama. We did it.” 

And Kageyama didn’t say anything in return, but he nodded, and he kept smiling. Hinata wanted to reach out, to wrap his arms around Kageyama and hug him, hug him and never let go, because this made all the teasing and the name-calling and the fighting worth it, Kageyama’s stupid smile. This train of thought might have concerned Hinata on a day where his legs weren’t crumbling beneath him and he wasn’t crying or suffocating in a huge pile of sweaty high-schoolers, but luckily today was not one of those days.

On the way back to school, Hinata felt himself slowly drifting off to sleep. But as his head dropped against his shoulder, he heard Kageyama murmur something under his breath.

“As long as I’m here, Hinata, you’re invincible.”

Suspiciously enough, that burning he felt the first time he met Kageyama started up again, and Hinata spent the rest of the trip trying to slow down his heart rate.

___

It was late, and the school was almost quiet. Apart from the slam of volleyballs against the ground, and Hinata’s rapid footsteps, that is. 

It had been a bad day. 

He didn’t feel like enough.

He was off in practice, and he couldn’t concentrate in class, and he just needed to be faster, better, stronger.

Hinata's head was spinning. He thought about all the times he’d been told how awful his technique was.

Run. Serve. Run. Receive. Run. Jump. Spike.

Remembered the feeling of helplessness when his quick, currently his only weapon, was blocked.

Run. Serve. Run. Receive. Run. Jump. Spike.

Remembered failing yet another test.

Run. Serve. Run. Receive. Run. Jump. Spike.

He remembered the sting as he was told he was nothing without his setter.

Run. Serve. Run. Receive. Run. Stumble.

“Argh! Move,” Hinata growled at his legs as sweat dripped off his body. He paused for a moment, before trying again.

Run. Serve. Run. Receive. Stumble.

“No! Okay. One more time.”

But Hinata felt his head spin as he reached for the ball, and suddenly his vision was spotted with black and he was hot, too hot, and his whole body was burning. He wrenched open the door of the gym, tripping down the stairs and collapsing on the concrete. Hinata was vaguely aware of someone walking past, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Hinata?”

_ Oh, fuck. _

“What the fuck? Have you been here _ all night _? It’s like 1 in the morning!”

Someone knelt down beside him, and Hinata choked out a sob. He blacked out.

When he came to, Hinata was propped up against a cool wall, receiving an unpleasant glare from Kageyama.

“Kageyama?” He mumbled. "Why are you still..? Sorry. I'm sorry, I just had some energy to kil, you know, and I - no, why are you here?"

“Shut up, dumbass.” Kageyama scowled. “I fell asleep during an evening class, if you must know. And what the fuck do you think you were you doing? You should know how to take care of yourself.”

Hinata faltered. “I’m…” He blinked, and looked down, trying to stop his eyes from stinging. He tried again. “I..” He ended up trying to shrug the question off. 

Kageyama frowned. “Hm. Okay. I’m taking you home.” 

Kageyama wasn’t a touchy person. He was fine with fistbumps or grabbing Hinata’s head occasionally, but he didn’t really do hugs, not like Noya or Tanaka. So being pressed side-by-side against Kageyama the whole way home was having a severe impact on Hinata’s traitorous little heart. But, they managed to make it all the way without any major mishaps.

“Drink water,” Kageyama growled as he helped Hinata sneak into his room. “Take care of yourself, dumbass.”

Hinata nodded, barely registering the words over the painful hammering in his head. He did register, however, that the side of his body that was just recently pressed up against his friend was now noticeably cold. Lonely. 

He looked up to see Kageyama, hands-in-pockets, walking down the street towards his own home. Hinata was glad his legs barely worked right now, because otherwise he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from running after him.

“Oi.”

Kageyama stopped.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

Without turning around, he nodded, and continued on his way, and the empty feeling in Hinata’s chest solidified a little.

___

The afternoon was warm and practice hadn’t started yet, because the second and third-years had late classes. Neither Hinata or Kageyama had keys to the gym, so they were lying on the grass, tossing the ball back and forth.

“I could fall asleep here,” Hinata mumbled.

Kageyama huffed. “Hinata Shouyou… Sleeping? That’s new.”

“Baka-yama.” Hinata felt his face burn. Had Kageyama ever used his first name before? _That __was nice. He should definitely do it more often. I wonder if it would be nice to call him Tobio._ This train of thought was very abruptly interrupted by Hinata being hit in the face by the ball. Kageyama lauged. Hinata sat up.

“Kageyama! Did you just _ giggle _?”

Kageyama scowled. “No.”

“You did!”

“You got hit in the face! It was funny.”

“Your face is funny!” Hinata whined.

“Shut up, dumbass.”

“Oi, Bakayama. Are you ticklish?”

“_What _?” Kageyama growled.

“I bet you are.”

He was. 10 minutes later, the pair were laying, breathless, in a heap on the ground. Kageyama, at one point, had Hinata pinned, but was now laying across his chest. It would only be a small movement and Hinata could wrap his arms around Kageyama, pulling him in close. 

Hinata had these kinds of thoughts a lot, and they were starting to be problematic.

Every practice, every lunchtime they sat together, every study session. He wanted to touch him, and he didn’t know why. 

“Hinata.”

Hinata jerked back to the present. “Mhm?”

“Are you okay?”

Kageyama was sitting up now, staring down at him.

“Oh, yeah. Why? Do I look sad?” Hinata plastered a big, cheesy grin over his face.

“You stopped laughing,” Kageyama said.

“Oh.”

Hinata’s chest ached. 

_ You stopped laughing. _

“Oh - Look, Daichi’s here. Let’s go train.” Kageyama stood. "Wanna get meat buns after?"

Hinata nodded, and sat up. "Only if you pay." He ducked as Kageyama attempted to whack him on the head. Kageyama turned towards the gym, and Hinata watched his back as he walked away. It was starting to become a common theme.

___

Hinata's thoughts were, once again, running at a million miles an hour.

It had been almost a whole year since he had last seen Kageyama. They had gone to seperate colleges, on different scholarships. They texted, sometimes, about schoolwork, coffee orders. And boys, too. Kageyama had actually dated an ace in the year above him, a few months back. Hinata doesn’t like to admit it, but it made him wonder if Kageyama would have dated him if he was an ace.

Which was stupid, of course. 

Hinata's thoughts continued anyway, as fast and as stupidly as ever.

But none of that really mattered, because today he was going to see him. _ Fight _ him. Hinata was going to beat Kageyama Tobio once and for all. 

As they pulled up at the venue, Hinata’s stomach churned. Regular pre-game nerves, he thought. That’s all. 

He ran to the bathroom, followed by knowing looks from his teammates. Everyone knew about Hinata and Kageyama. The high school wonder duo. This would be their first proper fight. Hinata was so wrapped up in his own head that he ran straight into someone leaving the bathroom.

Tall. Pale. Dark hair. Hinata’s breath hitched.

_ Kageyama_?

“Ah. Excuse me,” The man said, stepping past him.

He sighed. _ Not Kageyama. _

Hinata nervously bounced his way through the next 20 minutes. His team was sympathetic, some of them making little jokes at his expense. Hinata couldn’t think of anything but Kageyama. And all too soon, it was time. He led his team out onto the court, almost afraid to look over to the other side of the net. 

He did. 

He locked eyes with Kageyama. _ Is he taller? _

In a single, anticlimactic moment, Kageyama nodded, and looked away.

The loneliness had never really left Hinata’s chest since high school, but suddenly, it began to sting. 

That thought was buried as the whistle was blown, and it was time to play.

Run.

Jump.

Receive. _ Nice! _

Run.

Jump.

Spike. _ Perfect. _

Jump. 

Jump.

Block. _ Nice kill. _

Receive.

Wait.

Run.

Jump.

He could feel Kageyama’s presence on the other side of the net. _ You can fly higher, Hinata. _

Spike.

3 long, painful sets later, the final whistle. 

Hinata stood, mouth open.

_ We won. _

Satisfaction ripped through his entire body, and he let out a roar of success, followed by the victorious cries of his team. But Hinata didn’t turn to look at his team, even as they cheered, and yelled, even as arms wrapped around him, pushing him back and forth. No, he didn’t look at his team. He looked around for Kageyama. 

And Kageyama was smiling.

Hinata couldn’t think as the teams thanked each other, as the audience applauded, as he was dragged off the court. He couldn’t think until he turned a corner and the team they had just barely beaten stood at the other end of the hallway.

Hinata locked eyes with Kageyama, and this time, he didn’t look away. 

"Hinata," Kageyama murmured, stepping forward. His face was unreadable, but then he _smiled_ again. "Shouyou."  
  


_"...watched Kageyama's back as he walked away.."_

_Yeah. Not going to happen again._  
  


Hinata felt the all-too-familiar burn; but this time, he did nothing to stop it. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. He couldn’t stop his heart from beating a hundred times a second. He couldn’t stop the heat spreading across his face, or the tears prickling at his eyes. He definitely couldn’t help launching himself down the hallway directly at Kageyama, just so he could finally, _ finally _ be close to him again.

He wasn’t expecting Kageyama to laugh, and scoop him up off his feet. He wasn’t expecting to end up with his legs wrapped around Kageyama’s torso, face pressed into his neck. He wasn’t expecting to cry as much as he did. And he sure as hell wasn’t expecting _ Kageyama _ to cry. 

But Kageyama did cry. He laughed through the incessant tears, one arm supporting Hinata’s waist, pulling him as tight as he could, the other clutching at his shirt between his shoulder blades.

“Bakayama,” Hinata choked. “Tobio.” Hinata buried his hands in Kageyama’s hair, and melted into his hold. He was vaguely aware of the mingled cheers and laughter coming from both his and Kageyama’s teams as they made their way towards the cafeteria. 

“I have never seen Kageyama look so happy in my life and I watched _Oikawa Tooru_ tell him he was a good setter,” someone deadpanned. 

“Why haven’t they met up since high school?”

“It was mostly Kageyama. Trying to get over him, I think,” someone else added. 

“Looks like that didn’t go to plan,” one of Hinata’s teammates laughed. 

“Oh god, remember when we found out Kageyama was a) dating someone and then b) it was a guy? Hinata didn’t say a single word for like 5 hours.” 

“Bet. Remember when Kageyama found out Hinata was bi? He left training like half an hour in and then didn’t come to school the next day.” The voices got distant.

Hinata snorted. “Listen to them. Gossiping,” 

Kageyama nodded, lowering Hinata to the floor so they were standing face-to-face. 

“You’re taller,” Kageyama mumbled. 

“Kageyama-“

“I’m sorry. For not seeing you sooner.”

Hinata faltered. “It’s okay! I’m sure you’ve been busy.”

“It’s not.” Kageyama frowned. “It’s not okay. And it's not that I didn’t miss you or I didn’t have time for you, I just - leaving made me realise -" He sighed. "I’m sorry.”

“Realise what?” Hinata tilted his head. 

“Huh?”

“Leaving made you realise what?” 

Kageyama looked at the ground. 

“That I loved you."

A beat.

"That I _still_ love you, Hinata.” 

And that's when it all hit him. 

Kageyama Tobio was standing _ right here, he’s in front of me and he’s actually real _ and Kageyama had _actually maybe missed me a little bit?_ Kageyama had laughed, he cried, he had pulled Hinata close and he had whispered _ Shouyou _ and suddenly a million different moments from high school played in Hinata’s head all at the same time, fights, teamwork, challenges, tosses, arguments, meat buns, shared water bottles, winning, losing - and then all of a sudden, Hinata understood everything. 

He reached up, cupping one of Kageyama's cheeks.

“Tobio,” Hinata whispered. Kageyama’s breath hitched.

“I love you too.”

And Hinata pulled Kageyama towards him, into a kiss that they had both waited much too long for. The pair ended up walking (bouncing, in Hinata’s case) into the cafeteria holding hands, happy, smiling, and a little too blushy. 

“Thank god for that,” one of Kageyama’s teammates sighed. “If I had to listen to one more second of Kageyama moping around because he is absolutely whipped for a cute little redhead, I would have lost my mind.”

“Don’t celebrate too soon,” someone said. “Now he’ll just mope because he misses him all the time.”

Hinata pressed his cheek into Kageyama’s arm and sighed contentedly, listening to the thrum of voices around him. 

Two particular weights had finally been lifted from his shoulders. One, that ever-present loneliness in his chest was gone. For good, this time, hopefully. And two; that burning sensation? Hinata smiled thinking about it, and he looked up at Kageyama. 

Yeah. 

That was love. 


End file.
